i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The feeling are messing with the penis
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
