If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
