Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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