are you so shy because you have an std?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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