I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
