Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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