she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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