go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
