come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
