that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
