Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
