Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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