Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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