this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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