Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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