Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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