That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
