@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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