I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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