I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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