Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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