just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
