So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
