why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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