So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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