don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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