he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
