just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
