wanna go halves on a baby?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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