you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
