what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
