you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
