My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
