WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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