David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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