I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she pinky promised me she was 18
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
