Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Randomize
