I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
