The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
did i walk over a car last night?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
