My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
