so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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