The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
