Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
