singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You pole danced in your parka.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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