her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
