I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
