we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
