I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
