I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Randomize
