Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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