Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what day is it and did you see me today?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
