Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I did not marry a roomba.
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