we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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