i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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