Soap is not a condiment
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
